Mediation vs Litigation

– what’s the right fit for you?

If, you’re experiencing the collapse of your marriage, and you’re checking us out, I command you. I know that you are not someone who’s plotting your divorce to be contested and stretched out. You respect yourself too much to do that. And as hard as this is, you do not want to do this for your ex either.

What you want is for your divorce to end as soon and as humane as possible.

But you’re not sure whether your relationship is deemed “amicable” or whether mediation is the right path for you.

This should help you:

Fit for mediation

You are both reasonable people
Your privacy is important to you. You want to settle things “behind closed doors”
You don’t like each other anymore, but there’s still a degree of respect
You both are eager to get a helping hand as you both navigate the separation process
You both agree to financial transparency
You’re still able to sit in one room (real or virtual) and communicate over issues
You both have your priorities in check (even when they're not similar)
You both are interested in keeping as much of the family assets intact

Litigation may be a better route

One has a “my way or the highway” attitude
Having your issues discussed in open court is not a concern
Blaming, shaming, and putting the other down are constant when communicating
One or both don’t believe that a mediator brings value to the table
At least one is not willing to provide financial disclosure
There’s power imbalance or abuse that prohibit communication
One refuses to see things in perspective. To them, everything is a priority and every priority is impossible to tackle
One or both is willing to spend tens of thousands on legal fees

The thing about mediation is that you can always check in with a lawyer at any point in the process without actually being involved in litigation. But keeping the bulk of the discussions within the mediation realm will ensure that you keep your divorce amicable, humane, and cost effective.

One last point, mediation gives you autonomy. You both decide what is good for you, your kids, and your financial well being. You are not under the mercy of the man (or woman) in the black gown.

TDS Mediation: What you Should Know

What is your mediation process?

We call our mediation process the Constructive Divorce 5 Step Mediation.

We start by collecting financial disclosure
We meet each of you individually to go over your assets and liabilities and help you prepare for the joint mediation
You are sent home with homework, like doing a budget, and brainstorming different options for the mediation
You and your spouse meet with us at the joint mediation. This is where the agreements are made
The last step is drafting, signing, and filing the paperwork that reflects the agreements you made in mediation

What happens during a TDS mediation?

We usually start by setting guidelines for our meeting. We value people’s time and their investment in our mediation, and setting guidelines helps everyone stay on track.

Then, you and your spouse come up with an agenda of topics you want to reach an agreement on. Those usually include, support payments, selling the home, dividing RRSP’s, etc. You choose one topic to start with, you tackle them one by one. Often, 2 or 3 topics are connected, and so mediation makes it so effective to discuss them in real time.

Your mediator will ask you questions, keep you focused, and make every effort to balance the discussions. You can picture everyone in the room climbing a mountain together. We all move steadily at the same pace towards the North Star-reaching a settlement that is agreeable by both of you.

Who should use mediation?

Mediation can be helpful in cases regarding financial transactions, family matters, divorce, compensation, or any other matter which does not require complex legal procedures or evidence.

This forum allows them to remain in control, to be able to influence decisions, and not have the outcome imposed upon them. Mediation is a confidential and voluntary process and the role of the mediator is to encourage the spouses to discuss all aspects of a divorce and reach a decision about the future.

The spouses decide the divorce terms together while the mediator remains impartial, ensuring that they discuss all topics pertaining to the divorce.

Mediation is a less stressful and less costly alternative to court, the benefits of mediation are countless, and is a foundational part of our Simple Family Property Division and Complex Family Property Division divorces.