My 3-Step Exercise for a Powerful 2022
As we approach the new year, many people will be working on their 2022 New Year’s Resolution. I remember in January 2021, during a call with my business coach, I said, “It’s already the end of January, and I have not been able to achieve my goals! I’m behind!”
And of course the year rolls around and with a blink of an eye, here we are on the cusp of January 2022.
Have I achieved all my goals at least by the end of the year, you ask?
Not. Even. Close.
What I did achieve is the understanding and awareness that tangible goals like number of followers, percentage of growth, and money in the bank are not the benchmark for success.
The benchmark to me is the level of personal growth I’ve achieved during the year because from that, everything branches out. From that, everything else happens with ease.
Setback or Step Forward?
This year might have been the year you got divorced (ouch) or it might be the year you first thought of divorce (scary, right?)
Or you might simply feel like you have been stagnant, that another year passed by and you are where you were last January.
If you feel frustrated that 2021 was full of feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment, you’re not alone.
My 3-Step New Year’s Exercise
I invite you to use the following 3-step process to turn any negative experiences from 2021 into positive lessons for 2022.
Step 1: Make a list of all emotions you felt this year and when you felt them. Here is a list of core emotions from Brené Brown. For example, I felt joy when I did drawing challenges with my 8- year-old son, Malik. Especially after we each finished our drawing and went around the house to get votes from the rest of the family for whose is best.
Step 2: For memories that make you smile, vow that in 2022 you will create more similar memories. I will be drawing with Malik for as long as he lets me!
Step 3: For memories that made you sad, hurt, or jealous, write down any new inside that emerged from those experiences. For example, I have a client who felt jealous when seeing her friends’ Instagram pictures with their “perfect” loving spouses while comparing them to her own failing marriage. She wanted to stop feeling jealous and focus on her own wellbeing, so she shut down her Instagram account. Now she has no source of reference. Phew!
A 2022 New Year’s Resolution
Now that you’ve reflected on last year’s feelings, realized that perhaps not all were gloomy, and there were pockets of good times in them, create a WOTY for 2022. Oh, you don’t know what a WOTY is? Haha. It means “Word of the Year,” a word that defines your focus for 2022.
Here is a list of words for inspiration:
My chosen WOTY is POWERFUL. This word reminds me I am a mighty woman who illuminates beauty, love, confidence and inspires those around me to do the same.
In his book “The Obstacle is the Way,” Ryan Holiday says, “Certain things in life will cut you open like a knife. When that happens -at that exposing moment- the world gets a glimpse of what’s truly inside you. So what will be revealed when you’re sliced open by tension and pressure? Air? Iron? Or bullshit?”
I personally want to be the person who’s made of iron, what about you?
It gives me an idea for a 2022 New Year’s Resolution. Let’s vow together to bid a kind farewell to the harsh 2021 and welcome 2022 with love and grace.
Oh, and an iron fist. ?
The decision to separate from your partner is not an easy one. The un-coupling of your relationship comes with all sorts of uncomfortable, and bitter feelings. In addition to the emotions, you must deal with the logistics of separation, such as dividing your assets and liabilities, finding a new home, and negotiating a parenting plan if you share children.